Gift baskets are out of date! Or is it that they’re just plain boring? My fervent hope is that you’ll eventually come to the conclusion that both statements are wrong. I’m actually a gift food merchant. Kind of has a special ring to is, doesn’t it? While I agree that it’s not quite the same as being a test pilot or a neurosurgeon, it’s an honest way to pay for tuition for my grandson. Or at least it would be a good way to do so if more of you bought my products.
I know what you’re thinking: “All of his gift problems are solved; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” How dare you think about me in that way! In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.
I do not give food filled bundles of joy to my entire gift list. (Well, maybe most it.) However, even if I did, the choice would still not be easy. At my store, we offer scores of fruit baskets, gourmet meals, wine gift baskets and far more than that, even. (I know what you’re thinking right now, “Please, oh please, just tell me where this wonderful paradise is located so that I can go there to buy your most expensive offerings for everyone on my gift list!” Please be patient.)
Before you bribe me (or threaten me) to share my store location with you, I want to tell you about my own decision making approach.
My first step is to decide on the appropriate category of gift from the many choices. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running. Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ($95 a square yard). I’ll give her one of my better wine gift baskets, but I refuse to give her the best stuff. Sure, I get it wholesale, but I still have to pay for it!
My nephew, Alfred, recently married his long time girlfriend. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) What he wants is a check. There’s no way that I’m satisfying that desire. His wife wouldn’t get a dime of it. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. I figure it’s the only way to get that cheap guy’s new bride out of the kitchen for an evening.
My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people. Then my wife makes me double that amount.
My grandson is getting the latest video game system. Let’s face it; he is truly special.